Divorce starts well before the papers are filed, so planning is needed. But don’t worry – even if you will end up not getting divorced after all, the steps presented here will not diminish your quality of life. As a matter of fact, some of the suggestions may actually make your life better regardless of whether or not a divorce ultimately follows.
Spend More Time With Children
As if there are not enough reasons to spend more time with children, the possibility of divorce adds another reason. In divorce proceedings, the parent who is the primary caretaker of the children is the one who is given preference when custody decisions are made. In some families, it is obvious who the primary caretaker is. In other families, it’s a close call.
If yours is a “close call” family, spending more time with children can tip the balance in your favor. If yours is a family where the other spouse is pretty much the primary caretaker, spending more time with children will tip the care-taking balance into the “close call” zone. Either way, you benefit from the added divorce advantage, and both you and your children benefit from spending more time together. If you make a little less money as a result, consider that an added bonus when alimony and maintenance issues come around.
Are You Working too Hard?
In divorce financials, the person who has more gives up more. But a person who gives up overtime to spend more time with the children or to devote more time for personal growth is not penalized financially.
You may wish to have more personal time or spend more time with children, This should not be taken to an extreme. Quitting your job will result in difficulties in making ends meet, and in lack of personal fulfillment. It may also be considered marital waste, with the lost income being imputed in calculating alimony and child support.
For a person paying alimony or child support, more income means more payment. For a person receiving them, more income means less payment. But the data being used is typically for three years or more prior to the divorce, so a sudden drop in income may not effect child support or alimony amount, unless there is a documented reason for the sudden drop.
Gather Documents and Information
Getting documents and information from the soon to be ex-spouse will be difficult once you start living in different households. So find out where the spouse keeps their finances, such as bank accounts, pension plans, retirement funds, etc., in case they “forget” about those accounts when it comes to divorce disclosure and declare themselves to be indigent and in need of your support. You can remember what those assets are and which financial institution they are in, or your can keep a written list. If you can somehow get copies of those documents without doing anything illegal, that would be even better.
Don’t worry if there are some things that you can’t find, just do the best you can.
Document everything that you deem to be to your advantage in an upcoming divorce. Your cell phone is the greatest tool in documenting and collecting evidence. Remember to back everything up on the cloud in the way that the evidence remains even if your phone is tempered with. Take a picture of whatever it is you deem important. Think of financial documents, infidelity, abuse and anything else that comes to mind
However, it is probably not the best idea to overtly take pictures of things that you are unhappy with and tell your soon to be ex spouse that you are documenting it for the upcoming divorce. And keep the evidence jury-appropriate.
Keep Up With Family and Friends
Family and friends are an important support system, before, during, and after a divorce. They can help you with your happiness and life balance. Don’t be embarrassed by the evolution of your family situation – you are still the same person who they became friends and family with in the first place, and you can count on their understanding.
Speak with a Psychologist
Divorce is a situation that is hard to make sense out of. A psychologist is a someone who is professionally trained to handle this kind of situation, and can equip you with tools to handle it better, and will help you with the transition. Things you discuss with a psychologist are confidential and cannot be used against you in a divorce proceeding unless someone is at risk of harm.
Speak with a Divorce Lawyer
Don’t think of speaking with a divorce attorney as a big step. It’s just an intelligent and confidential conversation which a person who can help you figure out where you’re heading. To make an appointment with a Florida divorce attorney call attorney Albert Goodwin today.